Official Compact Discography
Implement of Prognosis demo - DVD Chapter 6 In 2016 a box set was released with all previous LPC CDs, and DVDs as well as bonus material. Chapter 6 of the DVD is titled "Implement of Prognosis demo + LPC outtakes". The below is from that demo, but no track titles are given on the DVD. The title tracks given below are not official, but are made up by the transcriber as a reference only. Approximate times the call appears on the DVD may also be included. Bart Hacker – 46:48 – 47:52 Faculty lounge? Yes, this is Bart Hacker. Uh-huh? Who am I speaking with? Uh, this is, uh, Tom Johnson, this is the faculty lounge at Columbine. Um-hmm. What can I do you for? Uh, I am interested in for, forming a coalition. For wha? What coalition? Uh, The Bart Hacker Coalition. Uh-huh. And we will deal mainly with wire. You know, and stuff of that nature. (Beep). Is that something that’s going to be tangible with your decency? Oh, I don’t know. Because, as I stated before, this, this is Bart Hacker speaking. Um-hmm. And, uh, what can I help you with? I am interested in, uh, engendering a coalition, if that’s feasible with you. Engendering a coalition? That’s correct. Well probably not, but thanks for calling. I’m sorry? (new voice) Hello, what do you want? This is Bart Hacker. Yeah, what do you want? I’m interested in forming a coalition with you. Fuck you. (Hang up sound). Coalition 2 (also released on LPC4 with slight edits) – 47:53 – 49:09 Lunchroom? Hello? Hi. Hi, how you doing? (long pause) Who is this please? This is Gary McDonald, who are you looking for? What are you doing? What am I doing? Yeah. Uhm, I... Talking on the phone. I was calling, because I'm interested in engendering a coalition. Say what? In starting a coalition with the Vatican City. Who is it that you wanted to talk to? Someone there that can represent the teaching staff. You know, I'm calling from the Vatican City right now. You want to talk to somebody in the main office. No. They referred me here, because they said this was... This is just the lunchroom, I happened to be walking through. I'm looking for someone who deals with science. Who gives what? Who deals with science, because science plays a vital role in the coalition. And I'm calling from Vatican City, so I need your help with it. Ah... We're going to be deal-... Probably want to talk to the science department head, then. But we we're going to be dealing with wire, mostly amalgamations of wire, you see. Is that something that's tangible? Right... Harley Racket, Bart Racket, Glue Salamanders – 49:10 – 51:00 Hello? Hello, this is Harley Racket, calling from the Vatican City right now. I need to talk to someone who is uh, a representative of that school. Representative? Who can represent it. Are you a teacher? No. We’re just janitors here. You’re a janitor? Yeah. Uh, do you ever deal with wire, in your job? Wire? Yes. Electrical wire? Yeah. No. Umm, would you be interested in forming a coalition with me and the Vatican City? Possibly? No. I’m sorry? No thank you. Well, uh, it would just involve, you know, you, uh, melting wire for me. For our coalition. Melting wire? Could you wrap, wrap our coalition in wire, possibly? I don’t understand what you’re talking about. I needed you to wrap us in wire. Wrap you in wire? Yeah. I don’t understand. What don’t you understand about that? (Laughs) It doesn’t make sense. I need you just…cover our coalition in wire. Sort of encased in wire, or foam rubber. Something like that would work. If it is not…dis, defying any, uh, any uh laws, basically. (Laughing) I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m interested in starting a coalition, out of the Vatican City that deals with wire. Can you help me with that? I can’t, I can’t help you. Well, you’re a janitor, and you said you dealt with wire most of the time. I have nothing to do with wire. Are you planning on pursuing wire, as part of your career, or? Who is this? Umm, Bart Racket. Bart Racket? You sure you’re not (hard to hear) Danny Price? Pardon? (Laughs) Um, so, would you glue, would you glue salamanders to the adhesive rubber? Is what I’m saying. Daniel Racket, Doug Hackett, Salamander Coalition - 51:00 - 52:00 Hello, whatchu need? Yeah, my name is Daniel Racket. Daniel Racket? Yeah. Ok. I was interested in forming a salamander coalition out of wire. A salamander coalition out of wire? Yes. Well, the only problem with that is we only use optics here. How about foam rubber? Foam rubber? Or masonry? Masonry? Yes. No, because they can't change colors as easy. Ummmm, well you know that's not what Doug Hackett said. Not what Doug Hackett said? Yeah. Well, uhh, he must be on the black sheep side of the Dennis Hackett family. (woman heard laughing in background). Uhh, tell that lady she's made of foam rubber. She's made of what? Foam rubber. That lady that's laughing, tell her that she's made of foam rubber. The lady that's laughing is made of foam rubber. (LPC laughs, woman in background laughs). Art Brakkitt 52:00 – 53:41 I wondering if you could take my number and name and have him phone me at a later time, if that was tangible. Okay. Is that okay with you and everything? Yes. Who is your father, please? Dennis. Dennis? Hackett. Uh, Dennis Hackett? Yes. Uh, do you know what he does for a living? Yeah. He’s a building engineer. He engineers, uh, construction sites? No, um, schools. He works at schools? Yes. And his name was? Dennis Hackett. Dennis Hackett. Okay, I was wondering if you could take my name, and everything. Yes. Possibly. Um, okay, I’ll give you time to get a pen. I’ve already got it. Okay, my name’s Art Brakkitt. (Beep). (Softly). Oh come on. Brakkitt is spelled B-R-A-K-K-I-T-T. And who will be getting this message? Hmm? Who will be getting this message? He will. Who? Dennis. Dennis? Hackett. Dennis Hackett will be getting the message? Yes. Is that gonna be feasible or something that’s not, you know, remedial? What? Is that remedial in this, in this circumstance, possibly? What is? Who, well I just need who this message is going to directly. Because that’s my whole, that’s my message to you. What message? The message I just gave you. Who is it going to be delivered to, please? Dennis Hackett. Dennis Hackett? As soon as possible, probably? Hmmm? Probably as soon as possible? Yes. And uh, so, when you leave it there, and await someone to see it, who will probably be the first person to see it? Would you guess? Dennis. I’m sorry, who? Dennis. Stan Rackett – 53:42 – 54:30 Matthew. Is, is your grandmother there? No. Or your mother, I mean. Yeah. May I speak with them? You? Yeah, who is this? Put her on please. Hello? Hi, how you doing tonight, miss. Who is this? Stan Brakkitt. Stan Brakkitt? Now Stan Rackett. Stan Rackett? That’s correct. Yeah? And I was, uh, I was interested in start…forming a coalition, uh, somewhere within this neighborhood, if that was going to be remedial with your home? (Laughs) Are you joking? No, I’m perfectly legitimate. Absolutely (?) tact with the circumstance. (Laughs) Absolutely drunk, maybe? (Laughs) No, I don’t believe so. Is your husband available, please? Maybe I could, you know, find the feasibility out with him, if that’s tangible. (Laughs) Gordon Daniel Task Force (54:30 – 54:50) …Fine I was, uh, I was interested um, sort, starting some sort of task force. Some neighborhood task force. Who are you? Uh, my name is Gordon Daniel. (Beep) Gordon Daniel, I live down in The Ranch area. I was interested in starting a task force. I’m not interested in your task force, bye. Pardon? Good Commendation – 54:50 – 55:20 Hi, how you doing this evening? Good. How you doing? I’m good. Great, I’m, that’s a very good thing to hear from you. I’m very glad that, uh, that everything’s going alright with you. Who’s this? Uh, I need to commend you on that, is basically what my message is to you. (Beep) Lyle Nibett, Roger Hackett and Gordon Whacker - 55:45 - 56:15 Who's this? Uhhh, Lyle Nibett (Laughs) Surely you jest. No, who's this please? This is uhhh, whoever you called. You must of called the wrong number. No, what number is this? What number did you call? This is Lyle Nibett from Grand Junction. Uhhh, I never heard of ya. I'm coming down via Vatican City, you know, on the Z route. Oh wow, that sounds pretty awesome. I...uhhh...so Dr. Hackett gave me this number. (Laughs) Oh yeah? Well I haven't heard of any... You or him. Roger Hackett? No, I don't know him. Yes, and as I said, I'm Dr. Lyle Nibett, if you needed to (unintelligible) later. You got the wrong number pal. Pardon? You got the wrong number. No, you called me, I don't understand. This is Lyle Nibet, I was just on hold with uh, uh, Gord... I'm sorry, there must have been a screw up, 'cause the phone rang here at my house. Well, I think Gordon Whacker was supposed to be informed... Gordon Whacker, huh? (Both laugh) (LPC) ...awhile back. That sounds like a pretty good joke, actually. No, it was just something that was done, uhhh, done (beep) the toaster oven, so I just need to verify that with you. Groovy, yeah, front door. Green door. Pardon. Green door. I'm afraid I'm not following you. I don't follow you. Icelandic Coalition - ~ 57:30 - 58:45 Dennis Hackett? Yes. Yeah, this is Lyle Nibett, calling. Yes? Calling from, uh, Vatican City, right now. What time is, what time does that make it there? I have no idea. Yeah, I thought it would probably be around quarter to ten, or so. Is that right? It was about six hours earlier. Umm, starting uh, a, uh, uh, Icelandic, uh, Coalition out of the Vatican City. We needed some remedial supplies...and I was referred this number. Is that right? Yeah. By the, uh, uh, Recreational District of Denver. Is that right? Had to go into some sort of file going down there, or something...So I was wondering if that was going to be, uh, you know, feasible? Would you do something like that in the remedial line, for a menial job? (Laughs) I'm pretty occupied right now. No, I was referring to the Asian Men, that were going to be working on it. The Asian Men? Yes. More in the, uh, Tibetan area. (Laughs) Is that right? No, it isn't correct at all, sir. I was wondering if it's tangible. If it's tangible? I have no idea. Is it something, you know, from the Vatican City, that won't have any import taxes? Because you know, when uh, in, when Nixon was in office, he was impeached, because of Hank Williams. Is that right? So, if it's not going to be remedial, then it has to be something that's tangible with the nibbens. Well, I've got other things to do now. Bart Concord, Dr. Gordon Hucker, Glue Satchel Method - ~58:45 - 60:45 This is Bart Concord, umm, I live up in Orange County. And I'm working for a furniture, the division of a major furniture chain here. Where? You're in California. Yes. You've got a residence here. Yes. Ah, you're on our mailing list, sir. Is that something that's tangible with you? That's what I'm calling to find out, if your presence on our list is something that's tangible with your decency of your home. I...phhhh...what are you doing? You're selling furniture? I work for the division of bookkeeping and marketing, book marketing is what I'm getting at. Is that tangible? No, not at all. It's not tangible? Would you care to elaborate on your statement? Well, I haven't the foggiest idea what you're doing, or what you're selling. (Unintelligible) you mentioned furniture? Ah, yes, I work for the book marketing division of FRG Furniture, of Berkeley in Orange County. (Unintelligible) I don't recognize the company. It's run by Dr. Gordon Hucker. He works, he used to work down in the, down in you know the gypsy area of the Asian Tibetan section. And he deals in the nine or the ten items. Uh, we have all antiques. He, he upgrade, he upgraded nine of the ten items that were delivered throughout the Tibetan area. Ok, listen uh... So, I was wondering if I could send you a free pamphlet about some polish. Polish? Yeah. What kind of polish? It's more of a foam rubber. Ok. See, uh, my message to you is wire. We deal with wire. A large amount of the time throughout the entire world. Mostly into New Zealand, you know Auckland, and uh... Well... We have a large selection of, like, steel picks. Steel picks? That's absolutely correct. Would you like some literature containing that, as well as the... Nooo, I think I'll pass on that. The Glue Satchel Method. Is that something that you would be interested in. I'll pass. Thanks, bye. Pardon? (Hang up) Swimming Mules - ~ 76:17 - 77:00 (Note: LPC's voice is removed from this call) ...Did, did you say a mule? An animal? Like a horse? How is she hauling it around? Well, how is she hauling it around? In a pack? Well how big is it? The size of a big dog? Well I'll be darned, what the heck are you going to do with the mule? So, so if she knew about the mule, she would have mentioned it. I know what mules are, but I can't picture hauling it around in the car. You know, that's a pretty good sized animal, even as a baby. Swimming mules? I never heard of a swimming mule. (Laughs) I still question if we're talking about the same thing. (Hang up sound) Neighbor Borrow Spider - ~ 77:00 - 77:10 Hello? Yeah, what's up? This is your neighbor. I needed to borrow some spider, from ya. Hey...Son of a bitch. Huh? (beep) Small Harmless Cold Blooded Animals - ~77:10 - ~78:00 (Transcription is needed: This is a woman's voice describing what animals are acceptable to be mailed. LPC voice is not heard.) I Want Spider - ~ 78:00 - 78:10 What'chu want? I want spider. (hang up sound) Spider? What is spider? (laughs) No, sorry. Lampert Hitch Hypnosis - ~78:10 - 78:45 (Note: Portions of this call have been released on other titles) Well I, uh, I don't understand what you're, uh, referring to. To the Lampert Hitch Method? No. Not familiar with that. You don't use the method? No. Well, maybe are aeronautical miles a problem? (Note - Not sure this is correct) Well, I don't know what... If it's water soluble? Well, I'm...You've completely lost me. I don't know...I use hypnosis as a modality in psychotherapy. Uhhhhh...do you, did you ever travel the nautical miles to acquire the hypnotherapy...uhhh...hypnos? No. Smoke Ranch, Spider Mash, Amelia Hitch, Pork Butts - ~78:45 - 79:52 (Note: Portions of this call have been released on other titles) Hello? Yes? What is this? This is Smoke Ranch. Smoke Ranch? Uh-huh. Uhhhh, yes, I was interested in working with water soluble solutions. Water soluble solutions? (Chuckles) ...Yes...ummmm, if Amelia Hitch was there? Is Amelia Hitch there? I think you got the wrong number No, uhhh, do you uhhhh, have any, ahhh, smoked pork butts? We can get 'em for ya. Or Lampert Hitch? What? Do you have any spider mash? Don't know what that is. ...Or scorpion? Either of those meats? What the hell you talking about? A smoked spider, sir. No. You carry smoked meats, don't you? Now let me ask you this, if I owned a water pipe, would it be feasible to smoke, ah, some of your meats through that? Would that be any problem? Ummm...I don't know what you're talking about. Do you use smoke stacks? Smoke stacks? Rectal Beasey Music - ~79:52 - 80:24 (Note: I believe the voice on this call is that of an LPC accomplice). Hi, is this the music, uh, store? Who? Music Train? You got the wrong number. But, but, I want to ask the one question. In the last election, did you vote for Rectal Beasy? I don't understand. Uh, Rectal Beasy, had, had... I'm busy, I'm sorry. But, no. I'm sorry. You're not sorry, you want to destroy me. What?!? I don't know you. You, you... (Hang up sound)